“Ben! Ben! Come quick! A guy on drugs just busted the window of your car!” Um, what?
That’s how I was woken up on Friday morning… our housemate Sam running around the house yelling that the back window of Ben’s car had just been punched in.
I ran outside to see what happened, and yelled for Ben to come quick! He on the other hand was in the shower, and took his sweet time drying off and getting out.
Sam and our other housemate Andy ran down the street to find the man who did this. They looked like they were ready for a fight. Ben was concerned about the window, wondering how he was going to get to work… and I got to work taking photos of the damage and calling the police.
The boys returned about 25 minutes later and recapped their run-in to Ben and I.
“He was definitely on drugs,” they said. “He was really skinny. He kept swaying. He wouldn’t tell us why he did it, and he looked like he wanted to punch us. If we had punched him we reckon we could have killed him, so we got out of there.”
They were able to recall his looks and the clothing he was wearing so we called the police back and gave them a description and location of where the man was; they said they would go look for him and come by our house to check out the car afterwards. So we waited…
In that time we had several neighbors come over and ask us what happened and if we saw the man who did it. They all told us they had seen the same guy walking around the neighborhood that morning. One had even been warned by her husband not to come home from her run since this man was in front of their house…. punching their hedges!
Three hours later Andy, who had the best description of the culprit, came into my room and said I’ve got to go to work but let me just give you a detailed description of the guy so you can tell the cops when they get here. I wrote it all down.
“Burnett” tattooed on right arm.
“Melissa” tattooed on his left arm.
An outline of Australia tattooed on his left leg.
And “JSP” tattooed on his neck.
Ben and I held on to that information for another hour when the cops finally showed up to the house.
I greeted a smart assey talkative Officer B, and straight-laced Officer C out front and told them what happened that morning. They were both pretty laid back and casual about the whole busted window situation.
“Our housemate Sam was going to get breakfast and just as he walked outside there was a man standing behind the car. He took one look at Sam, then the car and said, “In my way!” while punching a hole straight in the back window. He then continued to walk down the street like nothing happened. Sam and our other housemate Andy followed him and confronted him at the park. He was cut up from the punch but had no interest in apologizing or saying why he did it. They thought he was on drugs and made fists like he might punch them so they left. Our neighbors also saw him this morning punching the bushes outside of their house.”
Ben then handed the officers the notebook with the tattoo descriptions written down.
As the officers read the tattoo description their demeanor completely changed; they went silent, then started whispering to each other loud enough for us to hear… “did he have tattoos? his mom’s name was Mel… she was so nice. did he have a tattoo on his neck?… I don’t think he did… yes he did.” They looked at us and started laughing.
We probably had the most confused looks on our faces as the officers stood there laughing hysterically.
“The reason we were so late getting here is because we just took this guy to the hospital. His mum was so nice, so nice. He didn’t take his medicine today, and he might have been on some other things as well. Jeez he gets around. We found his car this morning parked in angled space, opposite direction across the spaces with the door open and keys in the ignition.
We just picked him up near Wallsend (twenty minutes away) at the top of a hill, in the middle of the street, attempting to punch cars as they drove by, naked.”
They turned to Sam and asked if the man had red slicked back hair. Sam nodded and said that he was also wearing a blue striped shirt.
The officers laughed, “He wasn’t wearing anything when we found him.
His name is Hector Burnett and his moms name is Mel, probably Melissa. He matches your description completely. Since he punched the car here and was attempting to punch them when we found him I think we’ve got a match.
When we walked up to him, his fists were clenched and he looked like he was going to punch us; we yelled, “Get on the ground!” his hands raised in the hair and he slowly lowered to his knees.”
After another laugh with the officers about the day’s events they apologized to Ben that they wouldn’t be able to prosecute the man, but at least insurance would take care of it for us. Then they left to find out what other mischief Hector caused that morning.